Zulu Vs. Black Hawk Down

I don't really have a knack for reviewing movies but I do enjoy connecting things that at first glance aren't similar. Here goes:

	Zulu	Black Hawk Down
When The Film Takes Place:	January 22-23, 1879	October 3-4, 1993
Year Film Was Released:	1964	2001
Takes Place In:	Natal, South Africa	Mogadishu, Somalia
Actually Filmed In:	South Africa	Morocco (apparently Mogadishu still wasn't safe)
Incendiary Oversimplification of the Plot:	Some white guys kill a lot of black guys.	Some white guys kill a lot of black guys.
Depicts:	The Battle Of Rorke's Drift where 139 British soldiers successfully defended their small garrison against 4000 Zulu warriors who had become fed up with having the British as neighbors.	The Battle Of Mogadishu where American military forces attempted to capture members of a warlord's clan. During the raid, two Black Hawk helicopters were shot down in the city which was increasingly hostile.
Dead:	British Soldiers: 15 Zulu Warriors: 370	American Soldiers: 19 Somalis: 133 to 1000. Since most of the dead were "civilian militia" there isn't an accurate count.
Politics of the film:	Really doesn't address it. Nothing is said about why the British are in Africa (Ivory?) or whether they should be there at all. The movie ends as a statement against the horrors of war. Without injecting politics the filmmakers effectively comment on the nastiness of war whether "justified" or not while at the same time celebrating the efforts of the soldiers.	Stays way the hell away from politics. And for good reason. If you don't remember this battle by name, surely you will remember American soldiers' bodies being paraded through the streets of Mogadishu. The closest the movie gets to political commentary is when one of the characters reveals to his fellow soldiers that he truly wants to help the Somali people. Obviously, were not talking about the Somalis that our protagonists fight the entire movie. At the end we are left with the realization that war sucks.
Main character:	Lt. John Chard, a Royal Engineer sent to build a bridge. Instead, as the most senior man he finds himself leading the defense of the garrison. Oh, and he's a "proper gentleman."	Matt Eversman, who is placed in charge of a group of Army Rangers just before the raid due to another soldier's illness.
Voice of The Opposition:	Reverend Otto Witt who arrives at the garrison to warn the soldiers to leave. He is instead detained within the fort, gets drunk, and yells things like, "you're all going to die" for a good part of the movie.	Arms dealer Atto who is detained early in the movie and comments to the general in charge that the United States has injected itself into a civil war. The general replies that 300,000 dead isn't a civil war, "it's genocide."
Medals Won By the Actual Participants:	11 Victoria Crosses 5 Distinguished Conduct Medals	2 Medals Of Honor 6 Silver Stars 10 Bronze Stars 1 Distinguished Flying Cross 1 DeFleury Medal 1 Oak Leaf 2 Purple Hearts
Main Actors Playing Against Their Nationality:	Nigel Green (South Africa)	Eric Bana (Australia) Ewan McGregor (UK) Orlando Bloom (UK) Ewen Bremner (UK) Kim Coates (Canada) Hugh Dancy (UK) Loan Gruffudd (UK) (Holy crap! Why so many Brits?!)
Word From the Film That I Had to Look Up:	"Malingering"	"Urbane"
How We Begin:	Printed history of the event read by Sir Richard Burton.	Titles to get the audience up to date on the situation at hand. Also included is the quote, "Only the dead have seen the end of war," which is erroneously attributed to Plato.
Unintentionally Funny Line:	"Damn you Chard! Damn all you butchers!" [pronounced "booochers"]	Soldier: "Colonel, they're shooting at us. Lt. Col. McKnight: "Well, shoot back."
Geek Facts:	Ridley Scott, the director of Black Hawk Down, loves the film Zulu so much he used the actual Zulu war chant during the opening battle of his film Gladiator.	Michael Caine in Zulu. Michael Caine to Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. Sandra Bullock to Jeff Daniels in Speed. Jeff Daniels to Laura Linney in Squid and the Whale. Laura Linney to Ed Harris in The Truman Show. Ed Harris to Sam Shephard in The Right Stuff. Sam Shepard in Black Hawk Down.

So the movies are more similar than not. What's this prove? Not much other than I don't have enough to do with my free time. I like both of the movies, in case you were wondering.

Photo Caption Contest - The Results Show

Okay, okay. So I never judged the results from the photo contest back in October 2007. Let the fury and vitriol gush forth aplenty.


This was probably the most unsuccessful of these things that I've hosted. I don't know if it was the picture or the rules that I placed on it. Anyway, for better or worse, here goes:

First Place
Wm. for "Give me one good reason why you're keeping that mustache."

It seems to be my refrain when judging these things; it was far from obvious and I surprised myself with it. It still strikes me as funny. Like this couple would be having a discussion about his grooming habits while floating down the street with a door full of beer. I don't know.

Minus 55 points for giving yourself First Place. Score = 45 points.


Second Place
Jeremy Frye for "The North American Redneck (Bocephi Earhardticus)..."

Jeremy actually followed the rules for this one and unlike the other entries (mine included) it's not bad. I do like this particular phrase: "Efficiency is key, and shirts have been rendered vestigial, at best, amongst females, and evolutionarily jettisoned entirely by males." There's an economy in word choice here that is very true to the idea of the encyclopedia entry concept.

Minus fifty eight points for making me look up "vestigial" yet again. Score = 42

Third Place
Paula for "One kitchen door: $15. Bride price of your uncle's niece: $50. Floating beer and a babe: priceless."

Not bad. The concept has been overdone as a corruption of the original and for me now ranks with the "been there, done that" saying. Still, "Bride price" is a funny phrase not to mention the use of the word "babe" to describe the woman in the picture. She's a catch alright.

Minus sixty three points for waiting so frikkin' long to participate in one of these. And this isn't my only way of communicating. Score = 37

Honorable Mention
Everyone that tried. Really. This one was difficult. I blame the people in the picture, because it can't be my fault. It never is.




First Place
Mr. Doob for "8:30 Blossom (NBC) On a Very Special Episode, Blossom befriends a popular cheerleader at school only to discover the girl's dark secret. The growing teen issue of 'Sharking' is brought to light and Blossom faces a peer pressure as never before. Special appearances by Nancy Reagan, Mr. T and Roy Scheider."

I have to give it to this one for the intentionally mismatched choice of guest stars. You always knew when you watched this kind of television that the guest stars weren't who they wanted but who they could afford to get. I tried this concept when I invoked the ghost of Willie Aames' career, but the "smattering" strategy works much better.

Minus eight points for using a really, really bad show. Score = 92

Second Place
Chosen©er for "Shark. Tonight, James Woods (Shark) heads to court against Shark (not James Woods). Use of staccato dialogue delivery will make you think something is interesting when it's really not. At all."

The multiple uses of the word shark for comic effect reminds me of the Smothers Brothers routine "You Didn't Come In" where Dick accuses Tommy of being stupid for not being stupid. Well, you'll just have to trust me; it's funny. Also the commentary on shows like this using techniques such as staccato dialogue to hide the fact that the show isn't really compelling hits home.

Minus twenty points for taking twelve days to come up with an entry. Score = 80

Third Place
Jeremy Frye for "Saved By The Bell Sat. 11:00 a.m. (NBC) In order to get tickets to the sold-out Bobby Brown concert, Zach Morris must take the local radio DJ's horribly disfigured daughter as his date. Initially repulsed, Morris learns that even ugly girls with superfluous shark-like appendages are people, too."

I like this one for the phrase "superfluous shark-like appendages." That's it.

Minus thirty three points because I like the sound of the phrase "thirty three". Score = 67

Honorable Mention
Wm for "9:30 Three's Company: The College Years. While completing community service in the school infirmary, Jack passes himself off as a Doctor to impress student Holly and is forced to perform a shark-ectomy when Holly's boyfriend shows up. Jack falls down."

After writing this one I got confused and couldn't remember if this was a real episode of Three's Company or not. You know, I never could understand the sex appeal of any of that show's stars.

Minus fifty one points for making Jack fall down one more time. Score = 49

Brent Cash - How Will I Know If I'm Awake

I'm overdue in announcing that a friend of mine has an album out. Brent's awesome and I had always hoped he would make it; looks like now he's on his way. The album sounds like a Sunday afternoon to me. Go to his website to check out clips of the songs and read some of the awesome reviews this album has gotten.

He's getting airplay on the BBC and college stations are playing him here in the states. Support your local record stores and request they stock this album!

(And if'n you ain't got no recurd store near ya', itz rite thar on tha iTunes fer ya ta dayonload.)

Kickin' It In Williamsburg

(Stock photo from Google. Items shown are more visible than they appeared on our trip.)

Sorry that I haven't updated for a while but we've been in Colonial Williamsburg on a family vacation for the last five days.

You know, I read a reader submitted editorial to Newsweek a few years ago that lamented the demise of the long road trip with kids. This editorial claimed that, with the advent of all of the personal entertainment devices, we have become families of strangers. Now, I agree with that claim to a point, but the author argued that a prime victim of this technology was the road trip and all of the horrible parts of it. I will counter that cordless headphones and individual dvd players mounted in the backs of the front seat head rests of your father-in-law's brand new SUV make the nine hour trip bearable. I don't relish the arguments, tensions, complaints, and everything else that we all are guilty of when cooped up with one another in a car for extended periods. Not having to experience that one more time doesn't leave me feeling cheated. That's right, an extremely large "Thank You" to Larry.

Anyway, we stopped over in Charlotte on the way up and visited Keith and Helen for an hour or so. They were nice enough to drive over to our hotel and drink a milkshake with me while Paula rested with the kids.

Colonial Williamsburg was really nice. We apparently hit it a little off season. There were a smattering of people dressed up and giving visitors a view into the history and politics of the time period, but the boys didn't get to see some guys playing the fife and drums or some soldiers drilling with muskets. Unfortunately for the boys there was a little more history than entertainment.

But we did get to see blacksmiths, silversmiths, a basket weaver, a cloth weaver (?), a wig maker, saddle makers, and a wagon wheel maker while at work. The boys really liked the blacksmiths and I have to say they were one of my favorite parts of our visit. I love the smell of the coal and the work really appealed to me.

The title of this post is a little bit of an inside joke. You see, the whole time we were in Colonial Williamsburg the boys kicked the small pebbles that covered all of the walkways. I felt like I was telling them not to kick the rocks about once every ten minutes.

After two days in Colonial Williamsburg we spent our last day visiting the Jamestown Settlement where the boys got to visit an Indian village, a recreation of the Jamestown Fort, and recreations of the ships that carried the residents of Jamestown to the New World.

Enough talking, here are a bunch of the pictures from our trip.

This is the Governor's Palace with a few of the "locals" riding up to the gate.


Here we are visiting the wagon wheel maker. He makes all of the wheels for the carriages by hand. It was amazing to watch. The boys couldn't have cared less.


These are the gardens behind the Governor's Palace. There was a maze in a section of bushes that the boys really enjoyed.


Dinnertime in the kitchen of the Governor's Palace. We saw demonstrations of some of the foods that people ate at the time. We also learned that George Washington's favorite ice cream was "Oyster" flavored. Ick.


Luke in the foyer of the Palace. As explained by our tour guide, the foyer was about as far as most of us would have gotten past the door.


Here are the boys on Gloucester Street. You can see one of the carriages in the background. It's original to the time period (circa 1780). The horses aren't original.


The hats were expensive but worth it. The boys loved them.


As you can see, they rarely came off of their heads.


Here the boys learn about basket weaving.


Here, the boys and a couple other boys get to drill with one of the soldiers at the Magazine, where the British stole the colonists' black powder. Ben tried hard but Luke seemed distracted.


I finally had enough with the kicking of the rocks and resorted to the punishment of the times.


Standing guard over some of the colony's supplies. A wooden musket comes at a premium price like the hats but the boys loved them and had to be ordered to not carry them into restaurants or around the hotel.


This was taken at the Jamestown Settlement Museum. They had some stuff out for kids and adults to touch like the dead raccoon and the bandolier.


Luke wouldn't have anything to do with the dead raccoon.


Here the boys pose with a Jamestown Settler/Soldier who had just demonstrated his musket with an actual firing. Very loud. Very awesome.


We get to try on some armor circa 1607.


Paula and the boys get into a canoe that has been hollowed out with fire like the Powhatan indians did in the 17th century. Sweet.

Well, that's it. We had a lot of fun.