Contradictions Of The Day

Well, not really of the day. More like the last week.

1. While at the Taste Of Marietta today there was a local auto dealer that had vehicles on display. They were featuring a hybrid SUV. That's a contradiction in terms in my book, but as I got closer I realized that I was mistaken: the sticker on the vehicle said that it gets an amazing 22 mpg on the highway. It is a hybrid!

2. The gentleman riding his bike through town taking long drags on a cigarette. 'Nuff said.

3. It's a long story but the fire department I work for has enacted a policy which ensures 70% consistency. Why not 80% consistency you ask? Because it's just as asinine.

More Stupid Stuff People Say

A friend of mine called me to ask if I had been watching Fox5 News this morning. Apparently the following was said:

"Were there any isolated incidents of widespread storm damage?"

This, of course, reminded me of the time one of our local weathermen named Flip Spiceland (that's right) said something like the following:

"Now I know I told you yesterday that it was going to rain, but it did. It's just that none of it reached the ground."

What Did She Say?

I was surfing the channels and came across Entertainment Tonight. Now, I don't watch those kind of shows because they are exactly the kind of sensationalism that I think will be the death of society. I know that the cable company is keeping track of what I'm watching so I make sure I don't let them think I'm even considering it.

However, as I'm surfing the story is about a teen that auditioned for American Idol named Temptress and her mother "going out to a restaurant." The mother is about 600 lbs and only able to move via a large wheelchair. Temptress herself is, by my estimation, around 300 lbs.

Don't get me wrong; I truly sympathize with the morbidly obese. I believe that there are yet undiscovered genetic factors which contribute to the condition. Everyone's body is different. But in the end, you have to agree that regardless of why you do it, it's all about how much food you put into your body.

Anyway, in the restaurant her mother remarks to the cameras, "I know I'm not the best example for Temptress. I just don't want to be too hard on her. I don't want her to be bulimic or anorexic."

Long pause. Back the Tivo up and turn on the closed captioning.............Yeah, she said it. She's afraid of her 300 lbs daughter developing an eating disorder.

Maybe it was the pressure of being in front of the cameras and not being able to think of anything to say. Maybe she really thinks that. Regardless, it's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard someone say. It ranks right up there with "I didn't inhale."

So then, why did Entertainment Tonight broadcast that sound bite as one of the few things that her mother says during the whole segment? The clip leads you to believe that the show facilitated getting her mother out and to the restaurant. It was produced to be a feel-good piece. So why intentionally leave in a comment that makes the mother look so ignorant?

You know, I began this entry merely to log something ridiculous that I heard. But as I wrote I realized that the really ridiculous part of the whole thing was the part the producers played. I'm off to e-mail the show.

Don't watch that show or any like them. That crap will rot your brain. Really.

Contradictions Of The Day

1. Frosted Mini-Wheats Big Bite (pictured at right and found on the shelf at my Publix.) Need I say more?

2. I saw a car this morning with a sign on it that read: "Make $8000 a month 10 Persons Needed." The sign was actually some shoe polish on the rear window of a beat to hell Chevy Lumina. $8000 you say? Chevy Lumina held together with bailing wire? Well, anything fancier would be ostentatious now wouldn't it?

Everything Only

Help me out here. There's a trash can in the City of Stone Mountain with the little trash can push door on top and on its' side are the words "Trash Only."

I have thought and thought about this one and I can't figure out what that means. Every morning that I drive home from work I have to pass this can. I keep meaning to bring my camera along. What could someone possibly put in the trash that wasn't trash other than maybe some living thing? You may as well have written "Everything Only" on the side. Even if the can used to sit beside a can that said "Recyclables Only" why would you specify "Trash Only." Everything that isn't recyclable must be trash. Right?

I don't know why this bothers me so much. Maybe it's because I can't put my head around it. I mean I can't even chalk it up to laziness. It took more effort to stencil and spray paint the extra line. So there must be meaning in the act, right? Am I the only one to notice? Or does this not bother anyone else? Is this a test? I feel kind of isolated right now.

This might be my par can falling from the sky. When did you know, Truman?

Why?

Joy Behar of The View (the "jolly, fiesty, red-headed" one) has just put out a children's book about a dog. The name of the book is: Sheetzucacapoopoo: My Kind of Dog. Now if you read the book description it says the dog in the book is named "Max." Therefore, I can only assume that the title is just a "clever" way to plaster the word "sh*t" three times across the cover of a book in the Children's section of the store. Maybe you're thinking the children won't latch onto the title and repeat it endlessly because they don't know what it means? Now, that's a load of crap.