Why Does Home Depot Hate Me?

So I've got a weed growing rampant in all of the pine straw beds. If you remember I put out 75 bales of pine straw a few weeks ago.

Well, I've got this thing about weeds where I have to know what their official name is so that I can curse them correctly. I took pictures of the weed with my phone and headed off to Hastings Nursery on Peachtree Road in Brookhaven. You see, Hastings is a very expensive nursery but one where you can count on getting quality advice and counsel.

Or so I thought. The dude that helped me ended up telling me that what I had was a "wild geranium." That was his diagnosis after he couldn't find the weed in the weed book. But seeing as how that didn't seem right I tried searching on the internet again (after a completely fruitless search earlier.)

That's when I found this. It's basically an online encyclopedia of weeds. You tell it a few things about your weed using drop down menus and it gives you pictures of the weeds that fit your description.

So what I have is not called "damn weed." That's what I've been calling it but its actual name is Galium Aparine, otherwise known as Catchweed Bedstraw. But here's the rub: IT DOESN'T GROW IN GEORGIA!

This weed is only found in the West. So that means only one thing is possible: THAT DAMN PINE STRAW THAT HOME DEPOT SOLD ME CAME FROM OUT WEST AND HAD CATCHWEED BEDGRASS SEEDS IN IT!!

Why does Home Depot hate me?