I Should Give Up Already

First, I piss people off; now this. I found this blog a few months ago and now feel like sharing. Don Shank posts his doodles and "scraps" on his blog. I love his stuff and it makes me feel like my blog is a complete waste of time. This guy's stuff is so cool and he's constantly creating. His profile says that he's a Geometry Architect. I think he's really an artist working in movin' pictures. He apparently had something to do with concept art for The Incredibles as shown in one of his posts.

A warning: Most of his posts are of lines, trees, a character named Kurt, and other doodles. But he does throw in the occasional endowed nude woman (think of what an invitation to the Playboy Mansion would have looked like in the sixties.) And honestly, if I could draw and paint like he does I probably would draw neckid women too.

An Open Apology

I have in the past made posts or comments on this blog that have been taken in ways other than I have intended. It is never my intention to address problems with my friends or other readers through this medium. I view this blog as drivel. It really is stuff that just pours out of my head and I should try a little harder to regulate the flow or at least control it.

With this blog, in its limited history, I have managed to offend some of you who have commented about it. I fear that I have offended more who haven't. In most cases I see only too late how my comments have been taken the wrong way. Sometimes, though, I can't understand how people got the wrong idea (a few people have asked me which friend's child destroyed my Dracula even though I said that it was a stranger's child.)

Let me say, for the record, that if I ever have a problem with any of you, I won't use this blog as my means of addressing it. I think more of our friendships than to do that. This is not my only means of communicating. It's just a "clearinghouse" for all of the thoughts that are either not important enough to mention in everyday conversation or are on my mind at the moment. It's just cheaper than therapy.

Please believe me when I say, "I am sorry."

The Golden Dogs Comin' On Strong

I recently ordered a bunch of new music from a record store and was surprised to find that one of the cd's was a whopping $23.00. It apparently is only available in Canada or you can buy it in the US as an import. I realized too late that I could have downloaded it from iTunes for $9.99.

But my shock at the price has dissolved upon repeated listenings. You see, I bought this record on the strength of the only song that I had heard from it. It's a gamble I've taken before that sometimes doesn't pay off. But other times I find bands that I really like, and this album is well worth the price.

Anyway, this album rocks. Literally. It's a superball of energy ricocheting around the inside of the shower (remember?) A lot of the comments on iTunes mention the B-52's but I can't find any similarities other than the fact that sometimes the female vocalist sounds a little like Kate Pierson. No, I see these guys more like an angry Sugarplastic mixed with The New Pornographers. They definitely have the pop sensibilities and have turned the amps up a little more.

Stand out tracks on the album include "Saints At The Gates" which sounds like Pink Floyd's "The Trial" mixed with Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk" sung by Tom Waites. Sound odd? Well it rocks. It's the song you play fourth in a set to really get the crowd with you. Listen to a sample here.

Track number seven titled "Strong" channels Carl Newman's ensemble to the point that I think Neko Case has joined The Golden Dogs and is singing. (I found a note scribbled on a piece of paper while driving that noted how much I liked this song, which I heard on XM Radio. It's what got me to look into them on the internet.) Listen to a sample here. Hang in there for the last thirty seconds when they start trading "downs."

"Never Meant Any Harm" is the track that initiated this purchase and is still my favorite. As I mentioned in a previous post, the keyboard in this song borrows from the Cars' "Hello Again."

All of the tracks can be listened to in their entirety on the band's website. And while I invoke other bands and songs in my description of the album, let me make it clear that I think this is something new and great. I love it.

Consider downloading it from iTunes or somewhere else. Like I said, it was worth the $23.00 in my opinion, but I don't think the band will see any of that extra money. So save the dough and buy a shirt at the show when they come to town. I'll see you there.

West Elm = The Devil

This is the e-mail exchange I had today with West Elm Customer Service. We bought a bed frame and headboard from them. Read below about how I will never ever use them again.

My original e-mail -


I wanted to write to tell you how unhappy I am with my experience ordering furniture from you.

We ordered a bed frame and headboard. The bed frame arrived and was not finished. By "not finished" I mean that holes were either not drilled or were off by 1/2 inch making the bed impossible to assemble. I contacted customer service and Amanda #2440 was very helpful and made me happy again. She arranged for another bed frame to be delivered and for the trouble she refunded 15% of my order. I was happy.

We received the new frame and I called to have you arrange to have the bad one picked up by UPS. They only picked up one of the two boxes. I then had to call again and have you send UPS out again.

Last weekend we were supposed to receive the headboard and had been given a timeframe at which it would be delivered. Then we received a call telling us that something had happened with the truck and delivery would be rescheduled. It was rescheduled for 9 to 11 a.m. today.

Our doorbell rang at 6:30 this morning! The driver said they had tried to call us. I replied that we turn our phones off while we're asleep.

What's more, the box the headboard is packaged in is completely destroyed. (Every box I have received from you is either completely destroyed upon delivery or just holding on) It looks like it has been repaired previously. The headboard appears to be in okay condition but I am not removing it until my camera battery can charge and I can take a picture of the box's condition at delivery in case there is damage. I am wondering now if waking someone up to deliver in the dark is a good way to get them to accept damaged merchandise.

As I said, I am very disappointed with your company in all aspects, except for operator #2440.

William V.


Their reply -


William,

west elm strives to offer quality merchandise and service to our customers. When it is brought to our attention that we have not met our customers' expectations, it is disheartening to us. We appreciate the time you took to share your experience with us. We will forward your concerns to the appropriate department. If the Head Board has damage, please contact our furniture team at 800-621-4097 and we will be happy to arrange the pick up and replacement. Again, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused. If we may be of any further assistance, please contact us.

Regards,

Kristina Hunter
west elm
Customer Service


My reply -


West Elm Customer Service,

Your reply to my e-mail is a cookie cutter response full of standard phrasing designed to placate. Unfortunately, it has had the opposite effect. It is as though you only skimmed my e-mail; an e-mail that contained concerns which bothered me enough to write to you at 6:40 in the morning. Do you cut and paste from a list of phrases?

And your reply has a finality to it. You apologize for not meeting the "customer's expectations" while never directly mentioning the fact that your shipper woke me up this morning from a dead sleep at 6:30 (a morning that, coincidentally, I had arranged for my children to stay with their grandparents so that my wife and I could sleep in.) And you don't address why they did it. You are going to "forward my concerns" but don't indicate that you are actually going to look into it and get back to me.

Let me reiterate that the generality of your reply has removed all doubt as to whether I will use your company again; I won't and regret my purchase. I plan to share this e-mail exchange and the details of my purchase experience on the internet in every way possible to insure that others do not make the same mistake.

Customer Service Representative Amanda, #2440, should be commended for delivering excellent customer service, which is apparently in short supply in your company.


Congratulations,

William V.

How Peter Pan Gets All-Up-In-Ya

Guess who was sick since Saturday? That's right, yours truly. It started with an uneasy feeling in my stomach on Saturday afternoon. I remarked to Paula that I thought I would feel better if I made myself sick. That moved right into four fun filled days at home in the bathroom as my system, unbeknownst to me, fought the dreaded scourge pictured at right. That's right, salmonella! Paula called me last night at work and said that our Peter Pan peanut butter bore the mark on the lid identifying it as a culprit in the many, many salmonella poisonings. Sweeet. Curse you, Pan!



Of course, I had considered using this image and titling this entry "Pan Gets The Captain In The Behind" but decided not to do so for fear it would be in bad taste.

Pop Quiz

1. If invited to a stranger's house for dinner, you should:

a. Let your child run wild, rip a page out of your host's hardcover Dracula, illustrated by Edward Gorey, and make a joke about "owing you another Dracula."
b. Sit down to the dinner table first and sit at the head of your host's table
c. Both A and B
d. None of the above

2. If your host has a problem with your answer to Question 1, he is:

a. Acting unreasonably
b. Wound too tight
c. Not feeling well
d. Completely justified expecting you to act courteously and respect his house.