Sometimes You Get More Than You Pay For

Emissions Testing for cars in this area have to be completed every year as part of getting your vehicle tag renewed. That's a certainty. What isn't certain is how much you will pay for it. In my area, we have as high as $25 and as low as $13. And since it's the exact same test, why would you pay more?

So I went to a $13 emissions testing station right off of Main Street that's located in what used to be an automated car wash behind the gas station on the corner. A goateed, ponytailed, Marlboro smoking Pete was the attendant that helped me. He reminded me of The Dude which isn't really a good thing since I'm not really a fan of that movie. But it did make for an entertaining ten minutes this morning.

Here's what I got for my $13:

• An Emissions Inspector who mumbles so much he has to say everything twice. That's like getting a two for one.
• Pete's view on why Hillary Clinton will be the next president. According to Pete, since we have now had an African American president, the next president will be either gay or female. Pete said he wasn't sure about which way Trump's barn door swings (his words), but since there weren't any openly gay candidates, he thought a female would be the next demographic to take a turn on the presidential merry-go-round.
• Pete's fist pumping in the air when he speaks of Bill Clinton's two terms as president. These apparently were Pete's salad days.
• Pete's carnal attraction to "President Hillary Clinton." He explained that Hillary will have a few guys on the side that she has sex with in the Oval; you know - sweet revenge for Bill's infidelities while in office. Pete said he would sign up for that duty.
• Pete's opinion of the American Sniper movie, which he didn't realize was about a real guy until the end. He also said that Chris Kyle's murder by a former soldier while at the shooting range was "all politics." I didn't ask him to elaborate, but this actually had me a little intrigued.
• Pete's opinion on the Burrell Ellis trial and incarceration. Pete's upset that Ellis will only serve 18 months. I told him I was a county worker, and he seemed to back off a bit like he was scared he might have offended me until I assured him that Ellis was guilty and deserved to rot in jail.
• Pete's offer to sell me his 1996 Honda Accord which he is selling because his license is suspended. Pete isn't confident that he will get his license back when he goes back to court in four months so he's getting rid of his ride and "his troubles."
• Pete's opinion that I should have been in the military. Maybe it's the haircut.
• A Pass on my Emissions Test.